Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A question


LIp sync yodeling. Fake ukulele playing and Jesus. Close to perfect.

Did you ever notice, if you question some Christians, that they will tell you that all of the weird shit in The Bible, the stuff that doesn't make much sense on the face of it, must be read and believed absolutely literally?

God absolutely planted a big garden with a magic tree in the middle. He put one sleepy little dude in the middle of the garden and then he created one little dudesse out of dude's rib. If you don't believe this you will go to H-E- Double Toothpicks for ever and ever and ever and Jesus will burn you up until the stuff in your eyeballs boils and then Jesus will make you magical new eyeballs so he can boil them until they pop, POP, and he will do this forever and forever and forever over and over again because that's the truth. Our God is an Awesome God. POP.

But if you ask those same people about the stuff in the Bible where it says don't kill people, or you should love your neighbor or if you deny the least, the most unimportant human, you are denying Jesus himself, they say, "You can't take that stuff literally. You have to understand how to interpret it. It's all very complicated. You need to find the right interpretation because love your neighbor means something different in the original Aramaic and besides God's love is a terrible and fearful thing."?

I'm just saying....

5 comments:

@eloh said...

You've been hangin' around the Baptist again...

Jon said...

The Baptist? No, I probably came across this thought in Marilynne Robinson. She's an Episcocratic like us.

Joe said...

i think many christians are just too lazy to think that deeply. a quick skim of the surface at whatever suits the moment.

ib said...

Christian fundamentalists are scary f&ckers. Just not as scary as those sharia driven bastards who would amputate a seven year-old child's hands in a packed football field for stealing - allegedly - a loaf of bread. And then go home to beat and rape their wives with impunity.

Frankiecon said...

You might like this
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/30/arts/music/30ukulele.html?_r=1&hpb

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